Pat And The Missing Earrings
by Chickinaa
Summary: I watch Eastenders whenever its on. Whenever Pat is on she wears different earrings what happens when her collection goes missing?
1. Chapter 1: Naked

Having a house full of people man that is tough, kids screaming around and the adults being out, I wish Bianca would pay me to babysit her kids.

Thankfully Moe and I were going out to the pub tonight so I was free of the lot of them. Finding my clothes was not a hard thing to do; I just put on a blouse and skirt choosing a pair of earrings was one of the difficult things I could have ever done along with having a scrap with Peggy.

I went into my own room to find my ridiculously big earring box. But I couldn't find it, It was not where I had placed it, I specifically remember putting my pearly earrings away last night right there on that dressing desk inside the box. I knew living with a lot of people was going to be difficult but this was just darn right pathetic.

I walked down the stairs into the TV room where I knew everyone would be because it was the evening,

"All right guys" I shouted "Who touched my earring box"

All eyes were on me, because they knew earrings was a big deal to me, even Morgan knew what I was talking about.

"I-I don't know pat" Bianca said pretty stunned.

Ricky got up to face the family and looked at the kids,

"All right which one of you guys has taken nana pat's earrings, you won't be in any trouble she just wants them back alright?" Ricky questioned.

No one.

"Well I didn't take them" Tiffany said child like.

I knew my family would never steal from me, except the odd change, but besides that they would never, but who would steal my prized possession?

I felt naked without my earrings, but Moe was waiting for me I had no time what so ever to go look for them, I finished getting ready, without my earrings and headed for the pub.

I walked into the pub and all eyes were drawn to me what? Did I have something on my face they wouldn't stop watching.

"Pat!" A familiar farmer like voice called.

It was Moe, I went over to her.

"What's with ya? You ill?"

"No blimey what's got into you ey?" I asked stunned by her question.

"Well there is something different about ya" she said gawking at me.

I took a good look at myself up and down, nothing.

"Eh pat you looking different" Patrick said walking past holding a beer in his hand maybe he was drunk.

"Eeya I got your drink" Moe says pushing the drink over to me.

I needed this after the day I had.

"Pat" Someone from behind the bar was calling me, my old time friend that I love and hate at the same time. "You look different"

I snapped "What? What is so different about me? C'mon spill it out"

"You're not wearing any earrings today pat" Bradley called out.

Everyone laughed. They were right. Pat was never a pat without earrings.

I had to get out of there; I didn't feel like drinking anymore I just wanted my earrings, but whom? Who was so horrible and mean enough to steal my earrings.

I was going to find out.


	2. Chapter 2: Kids

**Author's note: Okay well Um.. this idea is very strange indeed, its just that whenever I seem to watch eastender's Pat wears different earrings Just makes me wonder how many she might have you know? Hope you enjoy reading it, Reveiw's much appreciated!**

The night was getting restless, I couldn't hear a single thing but yet something was bothering me I took my hands out of the quilt and lifted them to my lonely ears, Sigh.

I couldn't sleep with the thought that my earrings were missing, I got out of bed, putting on my nightgown and opened the curtains. It was only 5 in the morning and the light was thankfully coming out of the window so I stripped the whole bedroom.

A knock came to the door it opened slowly, it was only Ricky

"Pat couldn't do us a favour could ya?" Ricky asked.

I blew out a big sigh,

"I'm a little busy looking for something"

"I-I know but it's urgent"

"What is it" I asked impatiently

"Couldn't manage the phones for about an hour could ya?" he asked.

"Its a bit early don't you think"

"No it's only noon"

Noon? I had spend several hours in my bedroom

"Well could ya?"

At least wouldn't have to leave the house maybe I could look around downstairs?

"Alright" I replied.

"Oh and pat? Bianca has looked everywhere for them, sorry she couldn't find anything, none of the kids have taken it either" he said and then walked out.

My chances of finding my earrings were getting really slim I walked out my room to see Whittany in her school uniform, hopefully going to school,

"Whit, you haven't touched my earrings have ya?"

"No!"She laughed

"What is so funny young lady?" I asked.

"Just the thought of you thinking I would wear _those_ earrings in public" she said laughing her way out the door

"Cheeky –" I had bigger things to worry about other than a cheeky teenager.

I looked in the oddest places, fridge, under the stairs, shoe stand, wardrobes, oven, microwave, garden and my bar.

Nothing. Distraction's from the station was getting on my last nerve; I wanted to break that stupid machine.

I answered it.

"Yes?" I shouted down the phone.

"Oh pat is that you?"

"Heather?"

"Yeah Hi, I wanted a cab-" heather started to say

"You haven't seen my earrings have ya?" I said interrupting her.

"Uhm- no-no I haven't um why?"

"It's gone walk about, well I'll talk to you later I got things to find"

"No hey! wait-" she shouted but I shut the phone too quickly to hear to the rest. Whoops.

I heard the door slam shut to see Ricky walk into the room,

"Alright? How was it going?"

"Good" I lied "now if you don't mind" I grabbed my coat and went out.

What were my chances of one of them taking it, the Beale's? Brannings'? Or that Mitchell? Maybe it was just a harmless trick from the kids, but it had gone too far now. I asked the first person I saw

"Billy you haven't seen my earrings have you"

He looked at me in disgust "what has Phil told ya"

"I can't find my earrings I'm just asking you if you have seen them!" I cried.

"Oh-oh no sorry I-I haven't" Billy replied with a hint of relief.

I didn't have time for chit-chat I moved on.

It couldn't off been Peggy, we were getting on so well, not harmless pranks were made just yet, She wouldn't do that to me, or would it of been any of the other Mitchells?

I walked into the pub and went straight to Phil.

"Where's Ben?"

He looked drunk,

"At school" He answered all tipsy.

Darn I couldn't ask him just yet. I knew the hunt for my earrings was going to be hard I didn't have that much strength on me I was definitely not old so I carried on.

I grabbed Ian by his stupid cheap sweater

"What I swear I'm innocent!"

"Where's Lucy?" I asked him

"she's at school" he replied scared.

I let him go, walking down the market stalls, all eyes were on me again I didn't want to make a big scene and I was really tired from all this aggressiveness so I decided I would wait till the day was later, when everyone was home so I wouldn't have to go around chasing people. T

his meant business, unfortunately I had no earrings to go with it.


	3. Chapter 3: Sherlock Holmes

**A/N; Hi guys thanks for the comments! Lmao I didn't realise the enjoyment of reading stuff like this and that it makes you laugh! Keep them coming because I loved to read your reviews and trust me, I will try and make them better and interesting x]**

I was very determined to find my earrings; few of those pairs were special gifts especially from Frank.

I sat in my room using Tiffany's colouring book on the back page naming my suspects of the thief, it was no-one in my family and I knew that for sure.

Ian Beale, he was the convict of most things, taking any chances to get money, maybe he sold my earrings to get some cash for... come to think of it, what did he do with his money? Forget it pat! Focus!

Peggy Mitchell, even though we were friends and have known each other for a very long time she would do anything to get on my bad side – she was lonely again.

Dawn Swan, well she was a woman of great taste, she could be borrowing them?

Moe, she was like Ian, Selling stuff but she was a mate?

Mrs. Masood, alot like me I think she has the same great taste as me but I highly doubted it...

Come to think about it, there was very minimum choice but I didn't want to waste no time. I went out of the house and to the closest house to me. Didn't take long for them to answer

"Oh! Hello Patricia!" Mrs. Masood said.

"Pat" I corrected her "You haven't by any chance seen my earring box have ya?"

Mrs. Masood looked at me very weirdly "your earrings? I have not seen anything I-I'm sorry" she waved a hand in my face "ta ta"

I think that meant goodbye but I didn't want to get into it so I left. Next door the house was Ian's and went up to the door and banged onto until it was answered by Lucy still in her school uniform

"What" she seemed really annoyed.

"Ain't seen my earrings have ya?"I asked.

She snorted. "Do you think I would knick your crappy earring set? Ha! Don't make me laugh" she left the door wide open laughing her way in.

"Lucy! Lucy" I shouted but she didn't come back, instead Jane appeared.

"Oh hey pat c'mon in" she said friendly, I had always liked her unlike Ian's other ex's.

"No no I'm find I just wondering if any of you have seen my earring box?" her eyelids jerked up "Uhm no sorry I-I haven't, I didn't know they went missing Pat you poor thing" she said.

She felt my sympathy for them like no one else did, I was grateful but that didn't help me one bit.

-----

The hunt went on for what felt like a thousand doors, all of my prime suspects were out of the case, man I felt like such a Sherlock Holmes but better looking and younger and far more prettier with a better sense of style. God knows if any of them were telling the truth, I guess I would only find out if they were actually wearing them but why would they do that?

All this thinking was giving me such a headache; I was right in the middle of the square sat down on the bench next to Arthur's memorial and it was cold, I should really consider wearing trousers but they just didn't suit my young body frame.

I felt like sleeping on that bench that was how comfortable I was feeling. People were starting to come out of the pub probably closing time I was watching all of their ears, nothing on them until heather came out wearing something bright. I got up immediately up to her.

"Heather!" I shouted, she spotted me and then walked the opposite way trying to run fast, "Get back here" I called out.

She was looking emotional, "I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to ruin your whites there was just some very tough sta-"

"No no not that, my earrings they look like my earrings" I said trying to get hold of one of her ears "ah keep away their mine!" she said holding onto her ears.

"Now if you don't mind I'm off to the chippie" she said walking off.

"Heather! Heather!" I shouted but she didn't listen.

Something wasn't right about heather, avoiding her appearance obviously but why was she so protective of her earrings? Guilty maybe? I couldn't follow her now, Shirley might come after me last thing I needed was that drunken idiot.

My chances of calling the old bill was pretty low I had to be reasonable, they wouldn't be searching for an earring box, not matter how much it meant to me or how much I tried flirting with them I think I would have to say goodbye to them and buy some new ones.


	4. Chapter 4: Flowers And Cross Dressers

I once heard that Ian Beale broke his leg and started spying on everyone with his binoculars up in Lucy's room. **(A/N; Yeah it was an actual episode like... ages ago, remember it?)**

Maybe I could have a go at it, but who had binoculars? Charlie maybe? He was the bird watching type.

I went downstairs to grab the phone because I just felt too lazy to go round there's myself but that was when I saw Tiffany holding onto something which was just what I needed.

"Tiffany, are those binoculars?" I asked

"Yeah I think so I found them on the fl-"

"Can I borrow them for a quick second?" I interrupted.

"Well I was going to go use them in my room to- HEY! Give them back" she cried.

I was not one for snatching things off little kids, but this was an emergency and I was going to give them back eventually.

I grabbed a seat and put it by the window these binoculars were a pile of sh- I mean crap. They didn't work as well as I would of thought but they were good enough, I kept my eyes on the launderette and the cafe and the pub I was feeling even more stressed maybe that was their own way of killing me off. I kept my head held high and thought positively; being stuck in the house really didn't help me at all I just felt like Dot.

I could see Jean holding a big bunch of flowers walking across the square looking perky as usual, I opened the window with much strength Jean caught that movement straight away and put the flowers in front of her face.

"Alright there Jean?" I asked very loudly

"Oh yeah yeah I am fine as anything, I got to go" she answered in her usual perky tone trying to make a run for it.

"not so fast"

She paused still holding that big bouquet of flowers up to her face

"What you hiding?" I asked curiously.

"Oh it's nothing Oh! Charlie is calling me bye!"

I pegged it down the stairs, she was hiding something, by the time I was outside – barefoot I should point out, jean was juggling the flowers and digging in her pocket for her keys at the same time, I went up to her standing behind her.

"Jean!" I shouted.

She jumped in surprise dropping the flowers which land outside the Branning's doorstop.

"Oh! Now look what you made me do!" she shouted angrily

Now was a bad time to attack on her she was getting aggressive.

"What am I going to do now?" Jean shouted "they were a special delivery and they looked perfect and now they are ruined, I spent ages on that"

Now I realise what she was hiding, she had a bright pink plaster on her face.

"I-I'm sorry jean I didn't mean to, what happened to your face" I asked.

"Just leave it will you? Leave it" she shouted getting all panicky.

"What the bleeding heck happened out here" said dot coming out of her house to see flowers all over her doorstep.

"Mom, you alright?" Stacey asked walking over from the square to Jean, giving me dodgy looks.

"I'm sorry Dot it wasn't my fault Pat scared me and the flowers fell" Jean said to Dot.

While Stacy was giving me the evils, Dot shouted "I don't care who did it, I don't want it outside my house by the time I get back from the launderettes.

She stepped over the flowers and walked down to work.

"What do you think you were doing scaring my mum like that?" Stacey asked me.

"Look I'm so sorry Jean I didn't mean to I was just looking for something I'm really worried about them" I said.

Jean's face turned from anger to sympathy for me.

"Oh its okay I could always make a new one, I'll help you find Bianca's kids if you would like?" she asked with a smile on her face.

"Bianca's kids? No no no Jean my earring box, it's gone missing" I corrected her.

Her smile disappeared.

"Nana pat can I have my Binoculars back now?" Tiffany screamed from the front house window.

"Your earrings? You scare my mom into dropping her flowers in front of Dot's house and knick a little kid's binoculars just for some poxy earrings?" Stacey interpreted.

"I gotta go" I said.

Stacey knew how to blow my horn and I wouldn't of let her talk to me like that other days, today was just not the day that I could be bothered to argue.

I look at my house to see Tiffany still waiting for my reply "It's in my room alright?!"

* * *

Dot was on her way back from the launderettes after some reassuring that the flowers were all removed from her front door step that meant only one other person would be in that place at this time.

I tried to make my entrance quiet but my noisy outfit wasn't helping that, I pushed down the handle to see no-one in sight, maybe she was out back. The noises from the washing machine made my entrance even quieter I walked down to the back to see someone who I would have never guessed to see working here.

"Billy?" I asked

"Oh pat" he said in surprised. "What um what are you doing here" he was wearing dots uniform.

"I could ask the same thing" I said trying so hard not to laugh.

"I had to wear this alright! I-I'm running low on money Dot said she could help" He said all nervous.

"Does that involve dressing like her" I joked

"What do you want?" he asked coldly.

"Where's heather?"

"She's off sick, something about chips and chocolate and mustard being a bad combination" he replied.

Darn. That was probably why Dot wasn't in the brightest moods this morning.

"Alright I'll catch you later Billy and if you need to borrow my clothes you are more than welcome to them except my earrings" I said.

"Why did you lose them" Billy said laughing, was it meant to be a joke?

"Why? Have you seen anyone with them?" I asked curiously.

"I was joking Pat" he said.

Or maybe he was covering for the culprit... or himself.

"Ha. Right" I replied in a boring tone.

I walked out of the laundrettes and headed home, because I had a plan.

* * *

"Hey Pat! What can I do you for?" Patrick asked as I walked into the Minute mart.

"Hey Patrick, I just need to borrow a space in the window"

"Yeah yeah sure" he said.

I put my piece of paper in the window and walked to the front of the window, this could work.

"So what did you lose?" Patrick said coming to the window.

"Something very dear to me" I replied and then headed back home waiting for phone call that could help me in any way.


	5. Patrick

**Patrick's POV**

It felt like a while since anyone has come into the shop I was glad to see Pat come in.

"Hey Pat! What can I do for you?" I asked as I needed something to do.

"Hey Patrick, I just need to borrow a space in the window" she asked.

"Yeah yeah sure" I said little disappointed because there was nothing to do here.

I watched her as she stuck the paper in one of the empty slots and then went outside looking miserable, staring at it. I was curious to know what it was so I went outside,

"So, what did you lose?" I asked.

"Something very dear to me" she replied miserably and then walked down the street, poor woman. I read the paper.

* * *

**Missing;**

**Old antique earring box, 2 feet long holds hundreds.  
****Earrings inside hold priceless earrings.  
Round about more than a hundred of them,  
clip on ones not the proper earrings which would make them easier to find.  
Suspects? Big people.  
If you see anything suspicious please call me. Thanks.**

**Tel:- 555-PAT-LOST-HER-EARRINGS**

* * *

She didn't leave her address nor her home phone, just her mobile number.

Crazy woman.


	6. Chapter 6: Ignorance

**Authors Note;; It's been a while since I had last updated, to be honest, I was being lazy, just couldn't be bothered. Hey! Its the holidays so yeah I have been busy off the computer. BUT I will try so don't panic I'm more anxious about Pat finding her earrings as much as any of you out there ;) anyways keep the reveiws coming because I love reading them.**

* * *

I was feeling really lazy today; I even kept the house work for the kids what with Whitney staying at home missing her exams (which was a bad idea) I made her do chores as her punishment, my house my rules.

The mess with Dot the other that was thankfully cleared up and we were forgiven, she even invited Jean and me down hers for tea, I could never disagree to free food, she even invited Stacey but Stacey said she was too busy folding socks...

I put on something decent for Dots and made my way there.

"Oh Pat you made it" she said in her usual happy tone.

"Alright Dot" I said stepping into her house.

I walked into the room to see Jean already sat there stuffing herself with a sponge cake.

"Hello pat" she managed to say with all the food in her mouth.

"Alright there Jean" I said sitting down in the arm chair while Dot sat next to Jean on the double sofa.

Jean gave me a goofy smile trying to manage her food in her mouth while being polite.

"Dotty is just bringing tea" Dot said breaking this awkward silence.

I grabbed a piece of cake eating it as politely as I could while dot watched us, can you say weird?

"Grandma, there is no more milk left" said dotty coming into the room.

"What? I-I bought some yesterday I'm so sorry I shall have to run over to the shops and buy some" she said panicking.

This was my chance to escape for a bit.

"No-no dot, I'll get it" I said getting up.

"No Pat you are the guest here it wouldn't seem right"

"Its fine, I need to check on something while I'm there anyway" I said, which was technically not lying.

"Are you sure?" she asked still not sure.

"Yeah, it's fine it would be good exercise for me" I joked.

"You need it" Dotty muttered a little too loud under her breath.

But by that stage I was already out the door, cheeky kid.

I made my way to the minute mart, nothing out of the ordinary was going on just eyes watching me as usual – I was used to this.

I went into the minute mart as I remembered she didn't give me any money for the milk so I bought the cheapest and smallest bottle in the cooler, as usual Patrick was behind the counter,

"Pat you make me laughs" he said while chuckling.

"Ey?" I said in confusion.

"Yeah man, I like a good joke, keep them coming hmm?" he said while giving me my change for the milk.

Weird man, he must have been drinking.

I left the minute mart remembering why I came here in the first place, I looked at the window which held all sorts of messages for houses, lost pets and cleaners, I was too busy to search for my own missing things.

Strange, either I was getting old and couldn't remember where I had placed it, or someone moved it, through the glass window I could see Patrick still laughing pointing at me or the window. Oh.

"Patrick why have you moved my 'missing earrings' sign from your window?" I asked in frustration.

"You are funny pat" he said still laughing.

"Have you been drinking?"

"No man! I have certainly been... not yet have you not" I didn't really understand he was mixing up his words.

Yes. Definitely drunk.

"Where is it?" I was losing my patience.

"Where's what?" he asked leaning on the counter.

"The missing earrings paper you buffoon"

"If you're happy and you know it claps your hands" he starting babbling on giving me the certain headache.

I left the shop still very annoyed remembering I still needed to go back to Dots, but really, I couldn't be bothered.

Ugh. Sod Dot, if things were ever going to get done around this square, I needed to do it myself, I have to do _everything_ myself. There is never any justice in this city.


	7. I DON'T BELEIVE IT!

**In the latest episode Pat has a heart attack, well we all know the real reason... depression from loosing her earrings.**

**Okay really now, I know its been about 6 months since I've last updated, wow yeah that had been a veerry long time now, I've been busy but lazy at the same time, I've neglected this story to concentrate on my other one but then a few days ago I had a look back at this story and couldn't beleive that I actually laughed at it, my own story mind!**

**So i've come back but with the final chapter, yes sad to know its true but every story - fanfic story needs an ending!**

* * *

Ashamed. Ashamed to be part of a cruel curel neighbourhood.

It's true, I've given up on all hope for finding my earrings, I've even being looking on Ebay for some new ones, only because they don't sell my taste in shops anymore and I'm so close to buying them.

To keep my mind off of the whole earring situation, I've been invited round Peggys, to replace my earrings. I've been borrowing Whitney's silver hoops and she doesn't know it.

"Right" I said coming down the stairs "I'm off"

"Are they my hoo-" I slammed the door before whitney could get another word in, lucky escape.

"Alright pat, your early" Peggy said still behind the bar serving the customers.

"Just had to get out of the house"

She smiled "Alright, well why don't you go upstairs I'll be up in a minute"

I went around back and up the stairs, into the kitchen, it was empty but I could smell a sweet aroma and had no idea what it was.

After a few minutes of just sitting there, music came on full blast, I thought I would of been Peggy seeing as it was her type of music, I opened the door in the other room "Peg, why don't we-"

I was mistaken, it wasn't Peggy.

"Ben?"

He turned around, red as a tomato... with my earrings box by him and a pair in his ears.

* * *

**(The official duff duff eastenders music)**

**Wow. I had no idea why I chose **_Him_** to have stolen the earrings, Its just a vibe, but really, hes great. Just awesome. This was a really quick chapter to just end the story... Thanks for reading and appreciate the reveiws!**


End file.
